Motherhood & Self-Care: The Moments I Steal for Myself
Motherhood is often framed as an all-consuming role, and for a while, I let it consume me. My baby girl is five now, but when she was born in Dallas, Texas, I had no idea how much life would change. At just four months old, we packed up and moved cross-country in the middle of the pandemic, stepping into uncertainty with no real plan for how it would all unfold.
I wanted to be close to my family, to return to my community, and to finally go back to school. But school was delayed due to COVID, and I found myself spiraling mentally. I was working from home full-time, taking care of my daughter full-time, and completely against daycare—both because of the cost and my own hesitation to leave her in someone else’s care. Looking back, I realize I was slowly losing my sense of self, and the worst part was, I didn’t know how to get it back.
Just after my daughter’s first birthday, my own birthday was coming up—only about two and a half weeks later. And I decided I was done feeling miserable. I needed something to shake me out of survival mode. So, I called up one of my girlfriends and asked if she’d come with me on a wellness retreat for my birthday.
It was going to be my first time away from my daughter, and as most moms do, I felt guilty. That tinge of guilt lingered in the back of my mind, but I didn’t let it stop me. The trip was four days long, and the moment I landed in Arizona, something inside me shifted. It was the first time in what felt like forever that I could hear my own spirit, my own breath, my own presence. I felt peace in a way I had never experienced before—deep, overwhelming gratitude and clarity. It was like stepping into a new life, and in many ways, it was.
Those four days were filled with everything I didn’t realize I was missing: horseback riding in the mountains, hiking, yoga, Pilates, lounging by the pool, eating incredible food, having deep conversations, and just taking in the beauty of my surroundings. I felt whole again. I felt like ME again.
That trip taught me something invaluable: I have to take care of myself. If I am not well—mentally, emotionally, spiritually—then I am not showing up as the best version of myself, and that includes being a mother.
Today, life is even busier. I still work full-time, run my business, and I’m in school full-time. My daughter is older now and in school herself, but my responsibilities have only increased. Even with all of that, I make it a point to carve out time for myself because I know firsthand what happens when I don’t.
The guilt? It doesn’t stand a chance anymore. Because I know this truth: When I take care of myself, my daughter benefits too.
We often believe that being a good mother means giving endlessly, but the reality is, when we are internally falling apart, we are not the present, attentive mothers we think we are. Our children feel that depletion, even when we try to hide it. They deserve better. We deserve better.
Finding balance isn’t always about grand getaways—sometimes, it’s stealing small moments for yourself. Maybe it’s 15 minutes in a room alone, just breathing. Maybe it’s a slow morning with a cup of tea before the day starts. Maybe it’s prioritizing therapy, movement, or a creative outlet. Whatever it looks like for you, know that it matters.
You don’t have to feel guilty for taking care of yourself. When you are good, your babies are better.
So steal those moments, claim them, and never apologize for them. They make all the difference.
